Metric Time
Brian Borgford
Published by Brian Borgford at Smashwords
Copyright © 2011 by Brian Borgford
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"Its two minutes later than the last time you looked," I snapped.
Bill had just purchased a brand new digital watch. These were the first digital watches ever produced and sold to the mass market. You had to press a button on the side of the watch and the black face gave way to red LED numbers.
Bill was not the sharpest crayon in the box. I was getting agitated with his behaviour. This was a fun party and he just kept pushing the button and checking the time. I didn't know if he was doing this to impress others at the party, or just to remind himself what a great purchase he made. These watches were expensive.
Bill didn't respond to my snide comment. He just gave me a blank stare as the music blared and there was the din of dozens of young people talking over the music.
Still determined to get a rise out of Bill, I tried another approach.
"What’re you going to do when we convert to metric time next year? What good is your watch then?" Canada was in the process of metrification. Everyone was struggling with kilometres instead of miles, Celsius instead of Fahrenheit, and litres instead of quarts. Metric time of course didn’t exist.
Bill looked at me in with a hint of fear, "What do you mean?"
"Next year - January 1 - we will complete the conversion to metric by introducing the metric calendar and metric time," I sounded very official.
Bill’s rippled forehead told me he was getting worried, "I never heard of that."
"You’ve heard of the metric system haven't you, Bill?"
"Of course, but I never heard of metric time," he was starting to look sceptical. My ruse may be over.
"Oh yes. We converted in Australia last year. It caused chaos,” chimed in a girl from Australia who must have been listening in over the party din.
Bill snapped his head in her direction, "What do you mean?"
She demonstrated sharp opportunism as she continued the ruse on my behalf, "Everyone’s clocks and watches were useless. Old grandfather clocks are just decoration. The clock on city hall had to be rebuilt."
"Wow," said Bill in awe, "Really? That bad?"
"At first it was," she continued, “but after a few months people started getting used to it."
"How does it work?" asked Bill with a bit of curiosity, but more fear for his new watch.
I joined back in with my best university educated voice, “Well, you divide the year into ten metric months. There are ten metric weeks in a metric month. There are ten metric days in a metric week and ten metric hours in a metric day and so on."
"What does that mean for my watch?" Bill’s fear was turning to despair.
"Useless," said the Australian girl. "Throw it out."
"Oh no!" Bill gasped and gave a blank stare.
Now I saw an opportunity with my new friend, and we changed the topic, leaving Bill to his thoughts.
He went back to pushing the button and checking the red digits. He didn't have much time left.
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