To my brother(Satish), sister-in-law(Sulochana), Sasank Tara, Bipen Khambu and Margin dev team @D.E.Shaw for your perennial support
Life in America
1
‘I am Mr X.’
That was how my colleagues call me.
At one time they caught me using variables which end with X(for example maX, seX) and started calling me as X since then.
‘I am restless since morning.
I need a long break. Break from grueling work.’
A lot of people think that working in AC room is like staying in paradise. It is not. Every day is a 32 hour schedule.
It is a sedentary job on a 100 degree hot pan.
We hardly experience the warmness of sun and coolness of moon.
‘I am working in a financial company called Lambda.’
Only a mathematician can understand the true meaning of Lambda. It has direct relationship with the finance domain.
‘Lambda is an US based company, owned by an Indian.’
‘Market crashed yesterday. Stock exchange index has fallen by 2000 points.’
Humans create problems and struggle to solve these problems.
‘It is morning 2:30 A.M.’
We don't find people working late night in USA except Indians/Chinese.
‘My colleagues are working so hard to correct the output of 3rd eye project in order to match with current market. We have no idea if we still be employed or fired by tomorrow.’
‘My friend cum colleague, Pull Royal, referred me in Lambda.’
For referring me, he got 10K dollars as a bonus, which is equivalent to 5000 beer bottles in Indian currency.
‘By the way, his actual name is Royyala pullaya. ‘
He learnt in school days that when we are in Rome, we should be like Romans.
‘On the basis of this philosophy, he changed his name as per U.S. But still his passport has the old name :)’
‘I am going home, pull. Are you coming?.’
‘I have to finish one more task. You carry on.’ said pull.
We did post graduation together college and we were roomies since then.
We were living twenty miles away from the office.
‘One can’t explain how a bachelor’s room would be?’
‘We clean it whenever any girl or elders visit. Until then, it will be a universal dust bin.’
2
‘Tringgg! Tringgg!... I placed my 1kg weighty arm on top of the alarm to stop its sound.’
‘Today is august 15th. I celebrate this day every year, not because it is the Independence Day for Indians but it is my birthday according to 10th class certificate’
‘I have lived for a quarter century alone on this earth. Its a good time to get married.’
But no one was there to find a girl for me.
‘I am an orphan.’
‘Hey pull. Get up, we should go to office.’
Wake me up after after... snoring sound!!!
‘We got a beautiful girl in our company`.
‘When, where is she from?” pull suddenly woke up with so much curiosity.
I laughed. Pull threw a pillow on me and slept.
It is expected that every company has at least one girl as an employee.
But mine is a male jungle.
‘My boss is so cruel on us by not hiring even a single woman.’
‘He has been covering his baldness with a black wig, which matches with his face color exactly. He is a black Indian geek with silver shining teeth.
Whenever his wife gets angry, at least one tooth will come out’
The old timid slave is a great mathematician and a fore-teller of stock prices.
I reached office early. By that time, my project leader Suresh has already arrived.
I asked “Hi Suresh, How are the stock prices today?”
He said “More or less, they are matching with third eye output.’
‘What a good news it is!
We should have drinks today.’
Third eye project was developed by my boss and no one had access to that software.
Life with Divya
3
‘Current strength in Lambda is 99.
we are very excited to know who that 100th employee is? Is it going to be a girl? If so, can she be comfortable in a company with only male employees?‘
My boss had no idea on how to keep the working environment “beautifully”.
In our tea talk, we decided that the 100th employee should be a female and shouldn’t have a boy friend.
My colleagues went mad.
Few colleagues even hired a detective to cross-check if any female applicant has a boy friend or not.
Few others were contacting astrologers with applicant’s personal details to know more about her compatibility with them.
Few more were betting each other on color/culture/structure of the girl.
After all, our daily job in Lambda, trading, is one kind of betting.
It was obvious that any guy would look for female companion.
‘Why doesn’t my boss realize the need of 99 employees?’
4
Another day in my life had started. Office life is too boring. My feet were not willing to step towards the office.
My eyes caught a beautiful girl in white dress. She looked like an Angel.
‘She is going on a elevator. The elevator is far away from me to catch. I waved hands, but she didn’t look at me and she disappeared as the lift took her quickly.’
‘My heart is suddenly filled with lot of energy after looking at her. Where is she working in this big building? I guess this building has more than 10 companies.
I am not so desperate about women. But life is colorful with girlfriends.‘
I slowly stepped towards my desk. It is always filled with lot of papers.
‘I have to finish bunch of tasks before I leave today.
What a boring life.’
‘Hi, I am Divya and I am your new team mate’ Divya introduced herself.
You? white dress girl?
All other employee eyes were on me.
Sorry, those were not on me, on Divya.
'My colleagues might have written a 1MB text file to describe her by now'.
In short, she is slender, has a round face, loose light brownish hair, light reddish colored lips; and her white complexion made her look more beautiful. More or less, she resembles Emma watson.
She came in white color coat and black color pants. Like her dress combination, every human has good and bad shadows.
I didn’t respond to her question.
She asked another question to interrupt my silence.
‘Are you an Indian?’ with a little bit louder voice
‘Yes, yes... I am from Andhra Pradesh.’ I told.
I asked ‘What about you?’
Divya said ‘Well, my native place is somewhere in India. Now, my family and I are staying in dinky town’
To continue the conversation, I said ‘I did M.S in USA. This is my first job. You are the first beautiful employee that I am working with’
Divya smiled at me and took her seat.
It is very difficult for a single girl to be around an office with full of guys.
‘She can’t share gossips with us as she does with her girlfriends.’
‘Among the 99 employees, I am the luckiest guy. Divya is my team mate.’
Unfortunately, this miss beauty had to report to a 1970’s mentality, Suresh, project leader.
‘He doesn’t look at girls and never gossips about them. He is an exact replica of my boss.'
In a span of 2 years, he became project leader.
‘He is on duty 24X7. He is a work-juicic. He drinks only juices, no alcohol.’
She repeated her first question when I was staring at her.
What is your name?
I am X.
“X? is it your real name?” Divya asked.
‘It is a long story. My real name is... I forgot.’
“Aah, please tell me” Divya said.
'I am Bala Subrahmanyam.'
'Okay then, I will call you as Balu.' Divya said.
What a sweet name and sweet voice too. I gave my hand to thank Divya.
'First touch... her hand is so soft'
I wished that my relationship with Divya lead go to marriage.
All other employees were whispering to each other.
On that day, I saw a bit of change in my life because of an Angel.
My boss and Suresh used to be topic of the company. On that day, I was, for one beautiful reason.
As soon as Divya left office, Pull started shouting, Balu, Balu...
Everybody laughed at me.
“Balu, Should we go home?” pull asked.
I said ‘I am not used to this name. But when you are calling me Balu, it is not as sweet as when Divya calls.’
‘Thats the magic of beauty, dude’ pull said.
Since then, I was more interested in coming early to office and staying late.
'Office is not a boring place when we have beautiful girls around us. I decorated my cabin with plastic flowers.'
5
Suresh assigned me the task to training Divya about Lambda’s infrastructure and projects.
I was very happy and called Divya to conference room to take sessions.
Divya, “Our daily life starts from 9 A.M. Trading exchange opens at 10 A.M. Brokers buy and sell stocks according to our predictions.
We have one magical project, third eye, which helped us to get jobs in this company.
This project takes news/data in some specific format and predicts future stock prices.
'Our job is to collect the news, previous day’s stock prices, current day transactions and provide them as input to the third eye. If something goes wrong with the prediction, we need to back track what made the output incorrect and reconcile input till predictions match with current prices. '
Divya interrupted and said “Should we take a break and talk something interesting.”
I whispered to myself “Do you have any boy friend?”
The whole world is bothering about scarcity of jobs but not that of single beautiful girls.
Divya asked ‘what is your plan for the weekend?’
I said ‘suresh gave me work and have to finish by this weekend.’
‘I heard he is so cruel. He doesn’t give good ratings, hikes. But work has to be done with very strict deadlines’ She said loudly.
I didn’t want to spoil precious moments with Divya by talking about that machine.
I asked ‘what is her plan on this weekend?’
She said “I would go shopping. I still have some joining bonus money left. “
I asked “On what else do you spend money apart from shopping?”
She replied ‘Ahaaa, it is a big question. But it has cute answer. I spend them on taking my boy friend to movies.’
I was a bit jealous.
To hide my facial expressions, I said “Yuk. Your boy friend makes you spend money?”
She replied that she was kidding.
I felt that I still have luck. After that I continued my session on technology.
She said bye to me when she was leaving.
She got 99 byes in reply (including mine) and also few flying kisses to Divya. Divya left the office with a smile.
6
On monday morning, Divya came with one more cute pink teddy bear.
I don’t get “why girls like inanimate dolls and hug them while sleeping when there are many boys jumping around them and ready to hug.”
I thought of asking who gifted this. It must be from one of my colleagues.
Not just teddy bears, she might have received many love proposals too.
I knew that I was the last in that race. However, I should give 100% of my focus.
'She would have more advantages if she marries me.'
'Firstly, she won’t have mother-in-law.
Another one, I could do her work also. Last and an important one is the money that she spends on shopping would be doubled (including my salary).'
Rakesh, one of senior colleagues, called me to his cabin. He held my shirt collar and warned me that I had to stay away from to Divya.
Other guy sent me a mail saying that he got a dream in which he married divya. Hence, I should treat Divya as my sister.
'After receiving few more warnings from my colleagues, I decided to learn martial arts in order to protect myself.'
7
My boss presented all of us a new year gift, a watch. They were specially made by TITAN on an order.
We were happy when he announced it, but instead of showing the time, it displays real time stock price info for a ticker.
Boss wanted us to be updated everywhere about prices.
All our hikes, salary depend on the profit we make.
Working in a financial company is a big risk because we don’t know when we will lose the job. But the pay is high, which confirms to the maxim “higher the risk, higher the returns”.
8
That day was a very very bad day in both Divya’s and my life.
When she went to a bathroom, Suresh also went silently inside the bathroom and misbehaved with her. She screamed until the security guards went to protect her from Suresh.
Immediately she left the office.
Later, Suresh locked himself in a bathroom and didn’t come out till the evening. My boss scolded him from outside the bathroom. I felt very sad for Divya.
9
I called Divya many times later but she didn’t answer.
'Two weeks were over. She hadn’t come to office.'
I took her address from the HR person and went to meet her.
I saw marriage arrangements at her home.
I went directly to Divya’s room. I tried to convince her not to marry as a reaction to what had happened. She didn’t listen to me.
'Divya, I know it is not right time to tell about this.
Since I met you, I have feelings for you.'
She rose from her seat and showed me the path to get out.
I tried to speak; she stopped me with her hand and said
“You guys won’t change.
You don’t know how to treat women respectfully. You think women are there only for sex.”
I felt very bad and came out without saying another word.
How I saved Lambda
10
It was night 10 PM. I reached a pub called heaven.
‘ One week passed by since I spoke with Divya and I haven't been to office since then.’
'Drinking throughout night and sleeping during day.'
‘Roughly, I am following Indian time table in America.’
Few people come to pub to watch strippers, few others come for gambling, and have drinks.
But I went there to forget Divya.
I read stories regarding Devdas and few other famous fellas who sacrificed their life for women.
‘I never expected that I would come under the list.’
I ordered my favorite drink ‘ice cold Hennessey on the rocks’ and had one peg.
It was a big surprise; my Boss came and sat beside me.
I thought he came to know about my love failure and came there to soothe me. But he also ordered a peg of my favorite.
Then, I changed flow of thoughts. I guess he must have got beaten by his wife again.
I ordered another peg to competent with him.
And he ordered for another. I ordered another to peg to compete with him. I took 5 and he took 7 pegs.
Instead of ordering another peg, my boss slapped me hardly.
Boss said “Are you competing with me Suresh? and he gave another slap.”
I shacked my head to realize what was going on.
Boss started weeping 'I worked very hard to develop 3rd eye. my future, and lives of 100 employees are getting destroyed.
If you want to grow, go and develop your own. But not by stealing other’s work.'
Boss fell down and murmured.
‘I didn’t know what had happened.’
I dropped my boss at his home.
I went to my office. It was 2 AM.
I haven’t seen pull since last week because of the change in my time table.
I called pull.
Pull said in sleeping voice “who is this?”
I said “It is me. Balu”
pull said “Wait. I will open door?”
I said “No. I am at office. What happened at our office?”
He explained the whole story “Suresh had stolen the version of 3rd eye software and destroyed whole of it’s learning.
And at a time 40 employees had shifted to his new company.”
Then, I understood the words of my boss and his gloomy.
I felt that “I should help my boss and also want to take revenge on suresh.”
I looked at 3rd eye output of yesterday. Numbers were not at all matching with those of stock exchange.
‘How should I correct the output of 3rd eye?’
I looked for backup of the training data?
‘I did try to correct to some extent. But it is very huge. Obscenely, it would take 4-6 months to feed the whole data again’
‘It is 7 AM on Sunday morning.’
'I want to arrange meeting with department heads.'
I called up systems head. After 4 rings, he answered his phone.
I said “Hi Bhanu, can you come to office at 9AM. I have a plan to recover revenues of our company”
He said “No. I am preparing my resume. I want to shift.”
I requested him “Bhanu, please don’t do this now. Give me one more week time. I will make sure we all will have jobs. Just one week.”
He agreed and came at 9AM.
Similarly, I called up HR head, 3rd eye project head, and Recruiter head.
11
I took all of them to a conference room.
‘Hi all, as you all know, we are in a hard phase. You might have your own plans to fight against this. I was just asking your one week’s time. Please post pone your plans of resigning this job for a week. I would make sure we all will have our jobs and better profits’
HR head asked about my plan. I thanked him and explained my plan.
I asked the systems head to provide Suresh’s last month web and computer activities and also his passwords if possible.
Asked HR to provide all personal information about him.
And ordered recruiters head to place an ad to recruit white hackers in Newyork times.
3rd Eye team head and I prepared a plan to correct 3rd eye output.
‘Our aim is to optimize learning process by making it a distributed system.’
Next day, we got couple of resumes for the new job. We called them immediately and asked to attend an interview.
I took all applicants to cafeteria. I gave a laptop and assigned an employee(to observe their work) to each and asked them to crack the Lambda’s external web site.
Among all applicants, I liked trilok’s work. He graduated from U of Florida.
He got the IP address of server which serves the web site. Then, with multitude of repeated requests, hogged the server. If there is too much of hogging, code automatically restarts the whole server. While starting, the server gets new IP address using DHCP. There he inserted memory resident program, which helped him to gain passwords.
We immediately hired and asked him to come to work the next day.
Mean while, the team head and I had written a wrapper over 3rd eye to learn strategies from multiple computers. Estimated learning time got reduced from 4-6 months to 1.5 to 2 weeks.
That means it was 8 times efficient. We can apply this to several other exchanges. This means we can get more profits.
Trilok and I started on cracking Suresh’s company website. My hunch was that he might use the same infrastructure.
Though we brought down his site, it didn’t come back up.
We waited for two days to get server restarted.
During these two days, we tried passwords, formed from his personal information.
After restart of the server, we got passwords. I destroyed the learnings of 3rd eye and corrupted its code.
I was very happy. I made things upside down.
‘Tomorrow onwards, Suresh will have hard time.
I didn’t want to spoil his life. But I think he deserves this punishment because of his bad and crooked attitude.’
12
I came home. I hardly slept last week. I immediately fell asleep.
Boss woke me up by knocking hard at my door.
As soon as I opened door, he hugged me with lot of happiness.
I looked at watch. I slept for 14 hours at a stretch.
Heads of all teams started congratulating me.
Boss said “we got profits five times than usual day”
Boss asked me “What do you want?”
I said “First, Lets have drinks”
We had few pegs together.
Pull explained why I hadn't come to office when Divya left.
Then, I started crying “How can she reject me? I have a good salary, good boss”.
Boss straightened his back and broadened his lips to show his smile.
I continued my sobbing “I don’t know why she rejected me.”
Everyone started consoling my pain in their way. I felt all their responses are more or less related to their work.
System’s head
“Don’t worry Balu.
She doesn’t have good physique.
I am sure you deserve more beautiful and lovely girl.”
I thought that he was applying computer assembly principles on women’s body.
Recruiter’s head said “when you loose one person. You should get another person.”
Boss said “is she the only boy... sorry girl, who matches your interests.”
I said ‘no. there can be many’
He said “Then, look for others. I am sure you will get one. However, don’t ever try to marry Americans. Their culture is different.
They may not stick to one person in their life.”
I asked “what to do now?”
All unanimously said “Find a traditional girl from your culture.”
Accountant head said “girls are in a race for you and winner will be your wife. Divya was disqualified in that race.”
Boss said that I look like mini-monk and asked me to shave my beard first.
‘That’s true.’
‘If I continue like this, after a month’s time, I can establish my own ashram. This profession will be more profitable, less work than a software job.’
Recruiter’s head gave marriage bureau's phone number, run by Haridwar.
Divya called me on the next day to say sorry for her harsh words that day.
I said 'I could understand what your situation was.'
And then, she said “I heard you became hero. Our boss told me. I am sure you will get a better person in your life.”
Searching bride in India
13
‘Am I speaking to Haridwar?’
Haridwar said "Yes. I am NRI marriage broker. I sell NRI boys to Indian girls. What can I do for you?"
I was looking for a homely, lovely girl and she should have parents, at least one brother, and sister.
"Technology is not yet improved in India to produce children without parents" hari said and chuckled.
"Ok, I have many matches with that background. So, it is not an issue.
And one more thing, I charge 1k in dollars. It is not refundable. For every weakness, you need to pay 1/2k dollars extra. is it fine?" said hari with commanding tone.
‘Yes. I am fine.’
"By the way, what is your name? " asked hari.
"I am Bala subrahmanyam".
"what about last name?" hari asked curiously.
Hmm. My surname is Bhaarat.
"He he.." hari laughed very loudly.
I felt that earth was shaking in US because of his laughter in India.
"I can tell your full history" said hari.
I was more intrigued. And asked How?
Hari said "You like sky blue color. Your favorite word is mother. You are looking for love as much as a person in dessert looking for water.
For your information, My surname is also Bharat and I was born in Haridwar, India"
“What a coincidence.” I said
"From now onwards, we are brothers. Don't worry brother, I will look for a good match. send me full biodata to my mail haridwar.matrimony@gmail.com" hari said and cut the call.
14
"Brother, when are you coming to India?. This is a marriage season." asked hari.
‘In a week?’
"That’s good. I will catch you at hyderbad airport." hari said.
Though hari lives in India, He keeps himself abreast of latest changes in USA. After several chats with him, I came to know that he studied software engineering and was working as marriage broker for living.
Hari uses facebook to find grooms abroad. He makes business by observing human psychology. If any person updates his facebook profile with new job or frustrated with Phd etc etc. Hari sends his marriage pamphlet through message. They won't consider hari's message as spam as he is in their network.
He advertised on groupon to get more customers.
I was very happy for his keen business knowledge.
15
"Yo Yo brother" hari said in telangana english accent at one of our richest airports, hyderabad, in India.
It was too crowdy. Many people in India are using flights than trains nowadays.
I noticed a small baby left alone and crying "mother... mother..."
I was moved. I asked her mother name. She hardly speaks.
I immediately went to police counter and gave my details so her mother can contact me.
"Brother, give her to police. They will take care of her" hari suggested.
I said “No, Hari. I can't leave this kid. I don't like to see any body struggles like me.”
I went to several counters to check whether her mother came to buy any item. At last, I found. She was in a bangle store. I scolded her for leaving her kid.
This is the best example to say that women forget the world when they are shopping.
"I like you brother" hari hugged me with lot of appreciation.
We raced towards hari's home. I don't like to stay in any hotel. Humans are social animals. I always like to stay with friends or ... Aaah.
I didn't have any one other than friends.
Hari was like my brother.
16
Hari said "Brother, some times I come across funniest situations. Few girls look for grooms by name. Recently one girl came and asked me whether I know any groom with name ‘Mahesh’
For them, I simply use google search.
“Nice one hari. I don't think any one uses social networking sites as best as you do.” I said
"Brother, should we go to movie?" hari asked.
I said No.
"Ok. I will take you to a spot where you can see many girls" hari said.
I said yes quickly to use this opportunity.
Hari laughed and took me to Prasads, one of the biggest multiplex theatres in hyderabad.
Looked like every girl in Andhra pradesh was there.
Different hair styles, dresses. Everyone was unique in their fancy costumes.
We spent whole evening over there.
Hari ended the day with news that made me quite happy "Tomorrow, you are going to see one girl"
17
"I am sunitha. What about you?" asked sunitha
I said “I am balu.”
She was driving car as if she was driving flight. I was sure even a real pilot runs flight slower than her.
"Where are we heading" asked with a doubt of reaching destination
sunitha answered with serene, "nagarjuna dam"
"I like travelling." sunitha added.
Did you buy this BMW recently?
she said that her father’s business is to sell BMW cars.
Ferrari is a dream car to many USAians. BMW is a dream car to Indians. This semi pilot doesn't care about lives of other persons in her car.
I asked her "Should we go back?"
Immediately, she reverted me with a question "Don't you like me?"
I said "We are not made for each other."
She suddenly stopped her flight and asked me to get down.
I said “Come on, I have only dollars. How can I go back?”
"Thanks for the information. Now, I am feeling even better. Get down. I say" sunitha said harshly.
I immediately got down and told myself ‘Instead of dying with astronaut, it is better to walk back.’
It took me half a day to come back to Hari's place. It made me feel like taking two/ three rounds around earth.
After hearing my conversation with Sunitha, brother warned me that I should never tell dislike on face. And then he narrated one old incident.
One of his customers went to see a girl. Her parents allowed her to talk with him privately. She was cutting apple and giving him slices. After some point, he said "I don't like you.". In the next second, instead of cutting apple, she cut his hand.
After hearing this tragic story, I felt this is one of the prime reasons for crime rate growth in India.
But on a sentimental note, it is not good to hurt any girl by rejecting her on face.
On next day, I visited Lahari at her home in order to avoid another walking exercises.
Lahari was cool.
"are you staying in US" she asked.
I said “Yes. I am staying in new york. ”
I asked ‘Don’t you like to stay in US’?
"No, No. I want to. Everyday I have to fight with mother. I need peace. I want to stay away from my mother
When I come to US, I won't even call her." Lahari said in a sad tone.
I asked "what is the problem?" as if I will solve her problem
Since she was silent, I added “please don’t mind not sharing with me if it is personal”
Then she said "My mother is not letting me go to pubs, tours etc. That's why I don't like her.
To change conversation, I asked her "what are you expecting from a husband"
"I have a big list" lahari said in enthusiastic tone
"My husband should take me to pub every day"
"He should take me to whatever place I like. I don't like getting flimsy reasons like tomorrow, next week, summer holidays etc"
To stop this ever going list, I asked her "should we meet some other time to discuss this at length?"
I ended conversation in a peaceful manner instead of waging another war
When I was leaving, she shouted ‘when are we meeting?’
I said "I will call you."
I reached home. Hari asked "How is lahari?"
I said “No, I don't like her. She doesn't know the value of a relationship. She needs a driver who takes her to different places.”
‘My phone is ringing...’
It was unknown number. But when I heard that ring, I felt that someone bombed India’s neighbourhood country, china, to stop their growth.
Sunitha called me. She apologized for abandoning me in the middle of road. I thought instead of continuing the war, it was better to maintain friendship.
After my call with sunitha, Hari told me that he called sunitha and conveyed my repentance for expressing my dislike.
And then, Hari said ”Forget all this brother. You are going to meet your fiancee, Hasini, tomorrow. “
And hari started tingling me with joy.
18
A small orange colored sticker on the center of her forehead, black colored dye around her eye, yellowish complexion, light reddish lipsticks, mix of skyblue and green color saree. Overall she used rainbow colors to makeup herself.
I should say, she was very beautiful and better than Divya structure wise.
On the whole, Hasini looked like a modern savitri, old telugu famous actor in 1980s.
But looks are deceptive.
I tried to introduce myself to her. But I couldn’t spell a word. At last, I spoke few words but those were not clear.
I didn’t know why I had felt nervous.
By looking at me, she said with a smile "I won't reject you. Don't worry".
I said "nice one" in relaxed manner
"My home is my world. I haven't gone out of my place till now." she said.
Her voice was so sweet. Lot many things she said afterwards.
"What about you?" she interrupted my dreams with a question.
‘I don't know where I was born. But I have a home in each town, orphanage.’
My orphanage warden told me that my parents left me there.
‘I named myself. I have studied on scholarships. now I am working in Lambda, a trading company.’
she asked ‘ Who is Haridwar? is he not your brother?’
I smiled.
‘he is also like me, an orphan, and we have similar ideologies about life.’
"Ok. Is it fine if my parents stay with me?" she asked in a low sound.
I said "Big Yes"
I said "I am even ready to stay at your home after marriage."
We both laughed.
And she said thank you with a smile.
The conversation went on talking about friends, life etc.
suddenly she asked me whether I proposed to any one?
When I don’t know what to say, I follow the route of Gandhi ji.
I told the truth, yes.
She asked "is her name Divya.?"
I was surprised.
I immediately asked was there any extra sensory connection between every girl on earth?
she laughed and said divya was her old childhood buddy.
Then, I recollected divya's words that her childhood kitty was in India.
I asked why didn't you break this suspense at the first moment?
she moved on to a different topic then. Hasini became so close to me within just one hour.
I knew she was my better half.
As soon as I came out of her home, I called up hari and said ‘I fell in love.’
"Brother, you are also cheating me." hari said with mourning voice.
I said that she was Hasini to soothe his sadness.
"Thats good news. Let’s have drink in the evening." hari said.
19
Hari took one peg and asked ‘balu, how many universities did you opt for masters’
I said six.
"Then why did you stuck with one option. Similarly, you should like at least two girls and choose one." Hari posed this question to make me think.
I said “This is life hari. We have one life, one wife.”
“I don't know all those balu. You have to see Ramya tomorrow. “ said and forced me to visit another girl.
20
Ramya was a posh girl. She came in modern dress. She didn’t give me a chance to speak.
Ramya said that she studied in NUS and planned to come to USA with B1 visa. But her VISA got rejected.
she said "I don't like to meet any new person in my house. Because, I am a bit uncomfortable."
She handed over the cup of coffee to me.
And she said "I like the coffee in Barista. I always meet my boyfriend over there
and have a cup of coffee together"
coffee was spilled over from my mouth when she said this.
"Are you alright? " Ramya asked with compassion.
I asked ‘what about this arrangement?’
She said that she had a break up with her boyfriend
I said bye and she offered me to meet her at Barista at some other time.
I said okay and returned home.
Any how, after long search, I found my life partner, Hasini.
Love, Romance, Marriage
21
I called Hasini on next day morning.
She almost broke my heart.
she said “Her parents didn’t like me much and looking for another King for her.”
My heartbeat rose with anguish.
I asked ‘why? What’s wrong with your parents?’
She said “Ok.. ok.. please don’t cry.. I am just kidding :)”
I told her to stop jokes.
And then she asked “when are we meeting?”
I suggested dinner option.
She said “How romantic” and cut the call.
It is very difficult to understand meaning of women words.
22
She ordered a chicken biryani.
I asked why only one. “Am I here to just pay the bill?”
Then, she called and added a pepsi to order to make me more angry.
I whispered myself “why god give sadistic brains to beautiful girls.”
She said “Don’t scold me inside your head. I will not have lunch today. “
I asked why.
Instead of answering my question, she started telling that her parents didn’t really like me and tried for another groom because I proposed Divya.
When she said that reason, I was surprised.
I thought, Divya was suitable to me. I just proposed.
Was it a crime?
‘Should I need to change my name to Rama to convince your parents?’
“Okay, Okay cool down.” she said to stop my arguments.
“I convinced my parents. Don’t worry much and be a gentle man” she said.
Waiter placed pepsi over table. I asked her “Are you not at all interested in having lunch?”
She moved her head in horizontal direction to say no.
I asked why?
She said with smiles that she wished god to make me a good boy.
So, she needs to do fastening to make that wish become true.
Because of these endless fasts, we are able to export in good amounts of commodities.
I knew the pain of hunger when I was a child. I begged her again to eat something.
She said that she can only have lemon water.
I cancelled the tasty Hyderabad chicken biryani to give support to whatever my fiance's wish was.
I ordered one by two lemon water.
She gave a weird expression which implied “romance is not good when one is hungry” and she told me to order 2 glasses for her.
Finally, we had 2.5 glasses each and .5 glass came under romance category.
She asked “what is the plan for evening?”
I said “I am looking for 2nd wife”
She said ha ha with agape and patted on my head with bill folder.
23
Next day, Hasini called me and said her father was asking for my convenient dates?
I asked “is it for our first night?”
“Shut up! you are on speaker and father is with me.” she said.
I stopped laughing and said as early as possible. Then she said there is one in 10 days from then.
I asked her to put me off on loud speaker and then I gave kiss to my mobile.
Then I realized that I should wash my mobile with RIN surf. It was so dirty.
Hari, my marriage date got fixed.
“Great news Balu. I am very happy for you." hari said.
Hari warned me that "Whenever you come across any girl that you had met last week, don't express your dislike and just maintain friendship with them. Soon they will understand. I will pass your marriage invitation to them."
I said fine.
‘I have to inform my colleagues and invite them for my marriage.
I have to distribute cards to my well wishers, shopping, and lot more to do.’
I asked hari ‘This is my first marriage :) You have to guide me.’
Hari smiled and said "Sure dude. This is my brother's marriage. You will see how I celebrate"
On that day, we planned to go to Krishna Kanth park, which was famous place for love birds in hyderabad.
I went to her home to pick up Hasini.
I didn’t know how to drive her scooty and it is not good to make a girl to ride.
Called an auto.
Auto wala said 200rs to go to park, which was just 2km far.
Auto drivers take the advantage specially when you are with with girl friend.
I was lucky because he didn’t ask all my properties.
I started calculating how much money it costs.
Hasini waved her hand to stop my calculation and she said 50.
Auto wala said 100. And finally agreed upon 70.
24
After some useless conversation, Hasini concluded that I was not romantic.
I challenged her by saying famous telugu dialogue "I will make you fall in love with me before our marriage."
I dropped her at home and was thinking deeply “How should I make Hasini fall in love for me”
It would be lifelong shame if I couldn’ts make it.
A cute little girl is walking on the other side of road with 5-kg of books on her back.’
In my childhood days, we used to carry 2-3 small books till 5th class. But today, 2nd class pupil carry around 15-20 books.
I said hi to kid. She also said hi with a smile.
I asked her ‘which grade are you in?’
She said that she was bored of answering that question.
Then I asked which hero you like the most.
She said prabhas with broad smile. He was telugu crazy hero, heart throb for many girls in Andhra Pradesh.
To continue my non-technical conversation, I took photo with my smartphone and showed it her.
She was impressed with my photography skills and asked me to show games on it.
I was using nexus-s, which was the latest model then.
It is always my pleasure to play with kids, and also conversing with highly experienced people.
Kid became very good friend of mine in no time.
It made me to scrutinize more about my current research problem “LOVE”.
When I could impress a small girl in no time, why not Hasini.
I reached home. Hari opened door for me.
Hari asked with a smile, “How are the meetings going on?”
Today, one interesting thing happened. I challenged hasini that I will make her to fall in love with me before marriage.
Hari said “This is romantic. But how can you?”
‘why not.’
“You don’t know anything apart from typing keyboard and scribing on paper.” hari piqued my angry.
To support my intellectuality, “I got first in creativity contest. I can easily impress her.”
Hari said “That’s wrong. You want her to love you. Then, why are you trying to impress her?”
I argued that both were same.
“To impress, you have do something she likes. But in love, whatever you do, she should like you” hari said and opened my eyes.
Then, I realized what youth was trying to do.
To impress girls, they spend lot of money. But impression doesn’t get their love’s love.
I thought “I need practical experience on how couple interact each other romantically.”
25
I went to a park on next day morning to observe couples. There were so many couples. Lot many singles like me also came there for jog.
I brought a news paper to pretend that I was reading.
One romantic couple sat under tree.
I knew, it was impropriety to eavesdrop personal talk. Though, I tried it was difficult to listen to their conversation.
Someone patted my back. I turned briskly and shouted what?
That was hasini.
She asked ‘what are you doing?’
I showed the paper and said “I am reading paper.”
'No, where were you peeping at.' she questioned
Hasini looked at the jogging track.
By looking at her father, she said 'my father is coming, be nice.'
I said “Hi to her father.”
I felt like greeting my old drill teacher.
He came in white colored marathon t-shirt, tracks with white and black stripes.
I joined their jog.
Why there is a guard with a beautiful girl always?
‘Jogging might be one of the reason for hasini’s slenderness.’
26
I went to the Hyd-airport to receive Pull.
We took a cab. I told him the challenge I made to Hasini.
He promised me that he would give practical training on how to be romantic.
Immediately, he told the driver to stop the cab.
Pull, we almost reached the home.
‘Just five more minutes.‘
He showed me two young girls, who were walking in the corner of road. He said that he want to teach me how to be romantic.
Lesson 1: Be adventurous in whatever thing you do for girl.
Pull instructed the driver to drive slowly till those girls and push the accelerator right after crossing them.
Before driver raises speed, pull kissed the girl on her cheek.
Girls started shouting.
I was shocked and looked out to say sorry to them.
She was Hasini’s friend, siri. I immediately sat back and scolded pull for his mischievous act.
He didn’t listen to my words.
He was very happy that he kissed a girl for the first time.
My phone rung.
Yes, It was Hasini. I didn’t answer her call.
Hasini and her friend came to Hari’s house.
I rented two apartments for all my colleagues and dropped Pull there.
So, I didn’t go to Hari house.
‘Even police couldn't have searched for terrorist, virappan, as much as Hasini was searching for my friend, pull.’
She sent me message and asked me to bring pull to birthday function of her relative.
Instead of telling truth to Pull, I asked him that 'should we go for birthday function in the evening?'
He asked was it a girl’s birthday?
I said it was a birthday of close friend’s son. He replied 'No'.
I tried to convince him a lot. He agreed to come if I can get some information about siri.
27
We reached the party venue.
‘I instructed Pull to stop his practical sessions. So that I would still be a gentle man.‘
Lesson2: When your girl friend comes to know your mistake, cook up with something related to her likes.
As soon as he finished his statement, he went to Hasini’s friend and hugged her tightly.
I opened my mouth for his courageous act.
She immediately pushed him and tried to slap with 120km/hour. Pull kneeled down to escape her slap.
He took out white rose flower, and said
“I am very sorry for my outrageous acts.
All I did this to express my love.
I know everything about you.
Will you marry me?”
She got puzzled and asked “How do you know me? How do you know that I like white rose flowers?”
I lived nearby your house. I couldn’t tell you my feelings before because I was very shy guy.
She thanked for the rose and said she needed time to think.
“Hey... why didn’t you tell me” I asked pull.
Lesson3: Tell lies to escape from life and death situations.
It was too much to my mind.
I asked pull “What will you do if she comes and say yes.”
Pull said casually, “Then, I will introduce a dummy wife”
‘For god’s sake please keep me away from these situations.’
‘Pull, tomorrow is strike in A.P. Private buses won’t run. So, You have to go to your home town today.’
‘why so hurry. Let me teach few more lessons.’ said pull.
‘It is already 8:15 PM.’
‘Auto... Auto...’
‘Pull, you go now. Otherwise, I will end up in prision.’
‘Pull eyes are searching for Hasini friend while I am dragging him out.’
I pushed pull into auto and said ‘don’t forget bring your parents to marriage.’
28
Next day, Hasini, her mother and I went to another Saree shopping for my marriage.
Ramya also came there. I said Hi to her and gave smile to her parents. Her parents returned me a look as I did something naughty.
Hasini has choosen green color saree. It was sprinkled with stone studded floral motifs. Scallop border made with embellished with stone, zardosi work, which made the saree look splendid.
Hasini and Ramya went to trail room.
When I was waiting at the trail room door, Ramya came out and asked me how she was on a dress.
I said ‘it’s nice.’
Hasini came out and asked me what were you doing?. Did you come with me or any other girl?
I said I had no idea, why she asked me instead of her mother.
“What? She came with her mother. That means you know her?” Hasini stunned.
“Yeah, she is Ramya.
She is one of the girls that I met in last week.
Hasini raised her eyebrows and asked “You met only Sunitha and Lahari. When did you meet Ramya?’
I said ‘after you.’
She was surprised and said ‘What the hell?’
Hasini mother was walking towards us.
I held Hasini hand and said ‘Hasini, Your mom is coming. I will explain everything later.’
I said ‘Aunty, I have some work to do. You carry on.’
I briskly came out of the mall. I couldn’t feel the heat.
29
‘Last night, I didn’t sleep properly. Because Hasini couldn't wait till tomorrow morning.’
‘On the other day, we met at Joy Alukkas jewellery shop to buy platinum rings.’
Mahesh babu, telugu Actor, is a brand ambassador for this jewellary shop.
We bought two rings. I paid bill and came out.
‘When we are waiting for a hired cab, sunitha and her parents came out of BMW.’
Sunitha came to me asked “what a surprise! do you came here to me?”
I said with whispering voice ‘I came to shopping with friend.'
By pointing at Hasini, I introduced her to sunitha.
sunitha smiled at Hasini. Hasini gave a serious look at me.
sunitha offered ‘can I drop you.’
I said ‘no thanks and opened the cab door quickly.’
sunitha parents asked her ‘why I am leaving hurriedly.’
sunitha said her parents that I might still have fear of travelling with her for a drive.
30
‘Balu, lets take Hari to party. Because of him, we met each other.’ Hasini said.
‘That’s a good idea.’
‘I will ask him now.’
‘Hello hari, this is balu. Where are you?’
‘Your voice is not audible. I am at one of my customer’s marriage’ hari said.
‘OK. I changed mode of my vocal chord to loud speaker.’
‘Hasini and I owe a treat for you. Where do you want?’
‘Hey, you are louder. everyone is looking at us’ Hasini said
‘I don’t need any party. You are happy. That’s the big treat for me.’ said Hari.
‘Thank you hari. But don’t disappoint us.’
‘Ok. Let’s go to Barista today. I like coffee over there’ said hari.
‘Deal.’ I said and cut the call.
We started to Barista in a rented cab.
I got a loose tongue. I said to Hasini ‘Ramya also likes coffee at Barista’
‘Hmm.’ said Hasini and turned seriously towards me.
To change the mood of a angry goddess face, I said ‘which car should we buy in US?’
She said with a stern voice ‘as long as you and I only travel, I am fine with any car’
We reached Barista.
‘Let me open door for you’ I said.
‘When do you become chivalrous?’ asked Hasini.
I smiled and came out of the car and tried to open door for Hasini. Ramya flashed in front of me and dragged my hand towards Hari.
‘This is sufficient for me to get another sleepless night class from Hasini’.
‘Hey Ramya, How are you?’
Hasini came out and looked at Ramya as if she is going to kill her in next minute.
I said ‘Ramya, she is my…’
Hari interrupted and said ‘she is Hasini, my friend’.
Hari dominated the whole conversation.
‘You know Ramya, coffee is a symbol of sharing love.’ said hari.
Ramya held my hand and said ‘That’s true.’
I gave a ugly smile and asked the meaning of Ramya’s behavior to hari with head movements.
Hari returned with his gestures that he wanted me to keep silent.
‘Ramya’s acts are making Hasini crazy.’
This happens when you are so possessive about someone.
I tried to take out Ramya’s hand. She held more tightly.
Hari said ‘we have a few days for marriage. Good days are ahead for everyone’
All of us said yes.
Ramya asked me ‘should we go for shopping?’
Hari said ‘we have some work to do. some other time, please.’
‘ok. I will call you dear’ said Ramya and left.
Hasini gave a smile by twisting lips to show a diplomatic expression.
As soon as Ramya left, Hasini raised from her seat and went into the cab seriously.
I asked hari “why does Ramya here?”
‘I don’t know. Hmm. She comes here regularly.
I often see her here. ‘ said hari.
‘Why did she held my hand?’
Hari said ‘What I can say about it? I told about your past and future plans.
She must be showing brotherly love on you. You must not mistake her.’
‘If she knows, then it is fine. Thanks for coming Hari. See you later.’
‘I should cool down Hasini’
‘Hasini, don’t worry about Ramya. Hari said about our marriage plan.
Because I am an orphan, she must be showing brotherly love.’ I said.
She almost convinced.
‘Ok. But her manners doesn’t justify what you say.’ said Hasini.
I raised my voice and said ‘don’t spoil our time Hasini.
It is time to be happy.’
31
I went to Hasini’s home. That day was her birthday. I specially designed saree for Hasini and gifted it.
‘Hasini, we will go for a party tonight. Be ready at 7P.M. I will pick you up.’
I reached Hasini’s home by 6:30PM. Hasini wore the designed saree. I opened a car door for her.
She asked ‘where are we going?’
I said ‘we are going to Taj Krishna.’
I directed her to banquet hall told her to open the door.
She was very surprized. Her favorite actor, Mahesh Babu, is there with his wife.
I won a lucky draw in joy allukas jewellery and got an offer to dine with Mahesh.
Decoration of hall, music and dishes everything was arranged as per Hasini's likes.
Server brought drinks for us. I cut my finger intentionally. Blood got sprinkled on table. Immediately, Hasini hold my finger with her saree’s corner. She started crying.
I hold her head, placed on my chest to console her.
After that, I take out ring from a pocket and said
'Hasini, you are with special people that you are always interested to meet. Your favorite music is playing on. whole hall was ornated as per your likes.
You are my first relation in this world. Only indication of true love is, few droplets from eyes. I carved for that love for all these years.
Thank you very much for expressing your love.’
And then, I kneeled down and asked ‘Will you marry me Hasini?’
She gave a kiss on my forehead and I put a ring on her finger.
Every body in room clapped including Mahesh.
Mahesh’s wife took out a small gift and gave Hasini and said birthday wishes.
We were there till 12 PM. We talked about movies, personal life.
That night was a first topic for Hasini whenever she meets any new person.
‘I am the luckiest guy’.
Despite many misunderstandings, she loves me a lot.
32
I said 'Hari, You know what? Hasini expressed her love.'
Hari said ‘Nice Balu. You proved that you are not just geek but also a good lover. Two more days to go...’
He asked ‘do you know what you have to do after marriage?
want to see some videos?’
I gave a facial expression between shyness and maturity.
‘Thank you hari. You think like a real brother.’
‘Before designing every device, we write a embedded program on it. In a similar fashion, god designed such that each organ knows what to do.’
‘We don’t need to teach heart about its functionality. When time comes, that thingy also acts’ I said and gave a matured smile.
Hari said ‘Cool. you are all set for marriage.’
'By the way, Hari why do you arrange only NRI marriages, but not local?’
Hari said 'Now youth is crazy about love. They are eloping with their lovers on the day of marriage. It became a vogue. Because of love, I am loosing my brokerage.
wherever there is a distance, there is less bond, less love.'
'Good Logic. Keep it up hari'
Marriage day
33
‘The day has come. my marriage day.’
I groomed myself with the help of beautician in one of the rented apartment.
‘Hey balu, innova has arrived. lets start for marriage.’ Pull said.
‘4 four more hours to the auspicious moment. Should we start now?’ I said.
‘there will be many pre-marriage ceremonies. Infact we are late.’ Said Pull.
‘Let me give a call to Hari’ I said.
Message said ‘Please type 1 to send voice mail...’
‘Time God. Where is hari.’ I said.
Pull said ‘let’s start now. Hari will come to marriage.’
In general bride family book hall and serve food for all guests.
‘Since this is my first function in my life, I decided to take care of all marriage arrangements.’
We reached the marriage hall.
‘Venue is sparsely filled with guests and can accommodate 2k guests easily.’
‘I hardly get guests for my marriage as only bride side relatives are there to come.’
I went straight to my waiting room.
My colleagues came and visited me in a room.
‘Hi all… how is your journey?’
rakesh said ‘Yeah. We enjoyed a lot.’
‘metal scanning machine didn’t allow boss to cross. Guard scanned with metal detector from neck to toe four times. he didn’t find any metal item.
Guard floundered. He called his officer. Boss has metal teeth which made the machine to cry’.
Another funny thing was that head & shoulders held a contest about dandruff. Winner is chosen if he/she doesn’t have dandruff. Our boss removed his wig and participated.
‘Whole room filled with laughing sounds.’
‘Echoes made them lot more effective’
‘my boss also joined laughter. He became so friendly. employees started making jokes in front of him.’
Hasini’s friends came inside and started proposing me.
I said ‘should I buy few more yellow colored threads to knot? I can marry all of you.’
‘Everyone laughed and left room.’
Priest called me to podium. He uttered and made me to pronounce mantras in sankrit.
¾th of hall was filled with guests. I was shocked.
‘Hey pull, I didn’t invite these many people. Who are they?’
Pull said ’calm down baby. this is first time for you. Hasini might have many relatives.’
Food supplier came and asked ‘sir, till now we served 750 people. Still people are
coming. There are no grains. We can’t cook now.’
I waved my hand to pull to deal with it.
He said ‘It is not good to send guests without serving. at least serve them some tiffin.‘
Later, I called pull and said ‘call hari. Since yesterday, I didn’t see him’
‘Hey pull’ hasini friend shouted.
She kissed him on cheek in front of pull’s father.
‘what are you doing?’ pull’s father shouted at siri.
‘what is your problem? He is my boy friend. who are you?’ said siri.
He said ‘I am his father’ and slapped him on his back of head. who is she?
‘Ooh. Hasini’s friend touched pull’s father legs and said bye’
‘What are you doing pullaya?’ father shouted at pull.
pull father said ‘I told you so many times. Don’t talk to girls.’
‘Aah. Common father. she is teasing’ said pull.
Hasini arrived to podium. guests were whispering each other. Their noise is more than marriage music. Guests were looked at us as if they came to wrong marriage hall.
Some one shouted loudly from the corner of marriage hall... ‘stop the marriage.’
‘what. There is no villian in my story.’
‘he is sunitha’s father. He is stout and came in suit. Good thing is that sunitha didn’t get his stout personality’
‘Pull’s father takes opposition and asked why?’
‘Because, my daughter has to get married to balu.’
All the guests were raised from their seats as if movie was over.
‘Hasini’s father is scolding her mother.
I told you naa... he is play boy.
Her mother pressed his hand tightly to stop him from saying more words.’
Download this book for your ebook reader.
(Pages 1-73 show above.)