A year without Alice. It was getting better on moving on but I remember what is was like to lose her in the start. Losing a sister to suicide is a terrible burden to know...to know that for some reason, she wasn't happy, that she was scared to live in the world any longer and what saddens me the most was the fact no one saw it coming. We didn't care enough to notice the signs she was showing us to help save her before she drowned herself in the bathroom tub with her wrists drained of blood. A year without Alice was like a year without rain for me. My parents got over it fine since they never really took care of their youngest daughter anyway, I don't even remember them sharing a tear for her. She never had any friends, so I felt no remorse in her school when I contacted her old school. I found pity thrown at me because I lost a sister but there was nothing for my dear little sister which made me disgusted and hating the world as much as Alice did. I wasn't the one dead, I didn't deserve the love and care they showed me; even if it was fake.
"Today is suicide prevention week, if you notice any of the signs in either your friends, family or yourself, talk to an adult you trust to confide too. Suicide is a serious thing. People die everyday from it but as a adult I would like to try to put a stop to it for your generation." Mr. Henson acknowledged to my P.E. class. I raised my hand. "Yes, Aspen?"
"You really can't put a stop it completely. Sometimes even if they tell an adult, there is something that can set off the teenager after the talk with them that makes them even more...ready to commit suicide." I answered truthfully. His eyes became worried.
"Is that how you feel?" Mr. Henson responded, a line of sweat escaped the brow of his forehead. He couldn't even take one of his best students to just talk about suicide, how was he to help confide to the real victims?
"No, Mr. H. It was just an opinion. I am just aware since my sister died from it...I want to help others from it but I know that I can't really stop it. I can help convince the victims how better it would be to live than to cut their lives short. That they can come to me because I do know the feeling of want to die." I noted sadly but also with a ring of confidence.
"How do you know the feeling?" One girl, Allyson I believe, spoke out to me.
"I know because after my sister died..I wanted to and tried to commit suicide to be with my sister. Only I slowly healed and figured out that this isn't what she'd want from me." I revealed, looking at Allyson fully. Her hair a short brown, her eyes a dull blue and skin more pallor than it should be. The signs were all there.
"How do you know that's not what she wanted for you?" Allyson answered, looking up to me as if I was the one with all the answers.
"I can't tell you how I know..I just do. From what I remember from her, she was a sweet nine year old girl who looked up to me as if I was her world. Only, I was like my parents and didn't care to notice all that all that was going on with her." I grew silent but knew I had to continue. "She was being raped by a man who lived next door. She was bullied at school for not being like me...a cool older sister is what she always said. God, if I could...I'd go back and save her from that wretched man...tell her just being herself is always enough. Show her the love she deserved." I whispered softly, feeling my body break into small shivers. She stood up, walked over to me and wrapped her thin arms around me.
"Thank you for telling me. You are really strong..." She told me and gave me a weak smile.
"No, I'm not. Alice was. You are. She went through so much...and I don't doubt you are too." I stated and I watch a glow start to shimmer in her now aqua eyes. I saved one life but could I manage to save more?
"You know...if Alice was here right now, she'd thank you too." Allyson noted which made my heart flutter. She pulled away and sat back down. I turned to look at Mr. Henson and he had his own tears rolling down his cheeks. Now the whole world knew about what he did to my sister before she died. Now, my healing process could really begin.
THE END