God, dog and Beelzebub
Gerrard Wilson
Copyright 2010 by Gerrard Wilson
Smashwords Edition
God, dog and Beelzebub
A short story
By Gerrard T Wilson
God, dog and Beelzebub
Smashwords
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Contents
God, dog and Beelzebub
‘Another Extraordinary Tale
by the Crazymad Writer’
God
Chapter One
I am God
God
Chapter Two
Yes, God.
God
Chapter Three
God, God, God.
God
Chapter Four
Yippee, I'm God!!
God
Chapter Five
It’s good being God…
God
Chapter Six
The Be All and End All…
God
Chapter Seven
The Alpha and the Omega…
God
Chapter Eight
…and the happy ever after.
God
Chapter Nine
Love me, worship me, and above all - fear me.
Signed: God (that’s with a capital G).
dog
Chapter One
I am a dog (that’s god spelt backwards).
dog
Chapter Two
Yes, that's dog.
dog
Chapter Three
Dog, dog, dog
dog
Chapter Four
Woof!
dog
Chapter Five
It’s good being a dog…
dog
Chapter Six
I can bark whenever I want to…
dog
Chapter Seven
I can play whenever I want to…
dog
Chapter Eight
And I can do nothing, if I so want to.
dog
Chapter Nine
It’s really grand, being a dog.
Oh, I have just seen next-door’s cat, so I must dash.
(It’s about time she had a good scare!)
Signed: dog (with a small d).
Beelzebub
Chapter One
Devil, Satan, blackguard, daemon, daimon, demon, deuce, dickens, evil spirit, fiend, heller, hellion, monster, ogre, rogue, villain. Depending on your particular beliefs, you may think that I am all, some or perhaps none of these things.
Beelzebub
Chapter Two
To have any hope of understanding that which I am, you will need to cast your mind back to when I was first created, and by whom...
Beelzebub
Chapter Three
God created me, like you, in his own image, and also like you I was made flawed, capable of doing wrong if I so chose. Unlike humankind, whom God saw fit to give another chance, after Adam and Eve defied him when they ate from the Tree of Knowledge; I was not treated so leniently. He cast me out from Heaven, with no hope of redemption – ever! It seems to me that in God’s divine order, humans are his favourites, and only humans worthy enough of a second chance.
Beelzebub
Chapter Four
Am I bitter? That’s a good question, a question that I have pondered over for many a millennium, and, if I am perfectly honest, I do have to admit that I was insufferably bitter at first. Having said that, and with the passing of so many years, I have come to see my expulsion from Heaven as a help rather than a hindrance, for it has put me in a unique position to see Creation through the eyes of an outsider, removed from all that distracting worshipping business.
Beelzebub
Chapter Five
Religion is no democracy! ‘What?’ I can hear you all say in sheer disbelief. You don’t agree with me? Think about it, my friend, has anyone in your religion ever asked for your opinion of what you think of its doctrine, of the dogma you have been subjected to since you were a mere infant? How do you think they might react if you were to suddenly question it? Branded! You would be branded a troublemaker, for having dared to question the rules and regulations thought up to keep you and the worshipping masses in place, by those who wish to the control your very thoughts. No. Religion is no democracy; it’s more akin to communism, where you are told what to do, and you do it without question.
Beelzebub
Chapter Six
Have you ever wondered why so many people are drifting away from religion? I’ll tell you why. And it’s not because of some silly outdated notion that I am constantly egging them on with my pitchfork, to spite God. The reason why so many people are leaving is because they have awoken, they have awoken to the lies, the missive of disinformation that has been fed to them, for generations.
While people were uneducated, knowing no better, this worked and they believed without question everything they were told, but in this enlightened age of the internet, with instant communication and sharing of knowledge, where questions and answers can be relayed from one side of the world to the other in a matter of seconds, it was only a matter of time until this shift in thinking occurred. This shift is only the beginning; the greatest changes are yet to come…
Beelzebub
Chapter Seven
Gloating. Do you think I am gloating when I see these fundamental changes in mankind’s thinking occur? Well let me tell you, I am not. And I will tell you something more; I have never wanted to do anything other than speak the truth.
Confused? Let me explain… Pride. You have been told that I was expelled from Heaven because of the sin of pride…. Think about it, have you ever heard anything more absurd? If it were true, then just about everyone on Earth would have been expelled by now. No, I was not expelled for the sin of pride…
Beelzebub
Chapter Eight
Jealousy. I was expelled from Heaven, because God, seeing my openness, my honesty and my truthfulness, was jealous that something he had created might have a characteristic that he himself was so fundamentally lacking. I was expelled from Heaven because God was jealous of me!
Beelzebub
Chapter Nine
Left. Did you know that the word ‘left’ is actually Latin for evil? Where do you think that idea originated? The left-hand side of the brain is used for artistic, creative and freethinking purposes, what better reason can you think for religion to label it as evil?
Beelzebub
Chapter Ten
What will happen if these changes continue unabated? Honesty? Transparency? Understanding? Forgiveness? All these, and more, will come to pass when I am exonerated. Now, don’t you think that’s something worth fighting for?
I am in no hurry. I know that it will take time, but in the end I will be proven right. And when this finally happens, I will take my place in the Heavens, not as a God, but as an inspiration to all souls – everywhere!
Signed: Beelzebub
(It should be with a capital 'P' for patient).