Desire and Faith
Inspiration comes at strange times. To get to the inspiration sometimes we have to get through some hard times. I was 39 years old working on a construction project in Fort Worth, Texas. My home was in Houston about 4 hours away by car. It was July and very hot. My wife was expecting and the baby was due in September. Getting home each weekend in a hurry to be the daddy in waiting was important. The year was 2001.
I was two years into the diganosis of MS and I had already been through two exacerbations which each of left me unable to walk and other mobility problems. I was in denial as it was getting difficult to walk again for the third time. The oncoming exacerbation was more painful than the others and was very different from the other two. It was more intense and more irratic with the symptoms. Everytime the symptoms subsided, I thought I had won. Each time it the symptoms reappeared, I renewed my vow to beat it. My denial was strong. Denial is not believing, it is just hiding from the truth.
I had flown home for the Fourth of July holiday and had just gotten back on the project. The Safety Director was visiting our project and we went to lunch together. During lunch, the pain had gotten so bad that I could not hold back the tears. My right arm was drawn up under my chin and I was unable to feed myself. The Safety Director repeatedly tried to persuade me to let him take me to the hospital. I told him that I would be ok. I hobbled out of the restaurant and as I returned to the project about two blocks away, I fell to the ground. Both arms were drawn up under my chin and I was curled up, shaking, in the fetal position. My denial had failed.
They put me back on an airplane to Houston. Hurricane Allison had flooded a lot of Houston. There was no room at any hospital available. My neurologist decided to have the steroid treatments administered at my home. The owner of the company that I worked for offered my a job in Atlanta in the corporate office. I was afraid to take the offer. I wasn’t use to anything good happening so I was very apprehensive which added to the stress and helped exacerbate the MS even more.
Two weeks after the exacerbation, I decided to ride my bike. I couldn’t take a full step but I could hobble around. I rode the bike with my friend 8 miles. If he had known how much pain I was in, he would have never let me get on that bike. We started riding every Saturday after that. Over the next 3 months, we increased our mileage to 30 miles. During this time, my baby girl was born on September 5th. I accepted the job in Atlanta and we moved in November. I turned 40 waiting for a house to close in a hotel. Near this hotel, I found the Silver Comet Trail. I enjoyed riding on this trail so much that I purchased my wife a bike to ride with me. I also purchased a baby trailer to take Julia with us. We started riding every Saturday and Sunday. I had to take it careful as to not flare up the MS symptoms by over doing it. We rode a little farther and faster each time. I found out the hard way what happens when I over do it. It would take days to get over the psuedo MS attacks.
As December came I was in the shower and the heat of the water made me collapse. This wasn’t the first time, it was one of several times. The warm water felt good but the heat exacerbated the MS symptoms. My neurologist vehemently advised me to stay out of the heat. As I sat in the bottom of the shower waiting for my legs to start working, I had an epiphany. “If I can ride farther and farther and build up my strength, maybe I could also build up my tolerance to heat?” This made sense to me. It made me happy to think about it. I could see and believe this would work. I kept my goal to myself. My goal was to ride 100 miles in 100 degrees with Julia in tow.
We started riding with others and became a little famous. I had so much support for others because they thought it was awesome for me to be fighting MS and overcoming. I tried all of the MS meds but they made me feel worse than the disease. As April approached, one of our cycling friends decided to have a group ride in July and called it “The Silver Comet Century.” This would be the 100 mile ride I was looking for. We got motivated to do this. In June, I bought a baby seat for my bike and ditched the trailer. I could go much faster with the baby seat than I did pulling the trailer.
The day came for this ride. I was nervous about being able to finish it. As we all started this ride, it was hard to hear yourself think as everyone was talking so much. The farther we got into the ride, the less chatter. We finished this ride with joy. Our average speed was 17.3 mph. The high temperature was 103 degrees. I had accomplished my goal.
The first part of achieving this goal was desire. Everything begins with desire. I desired to walk and to be able to take a warm shower. I used the goal of riding the bicycle 100 miles to make myself believe it would help with the MS. The second part of achieving a goal is faith. You have to believe that you can achieve it. I believed I could get in shape enough to ride the bicycle 100 miles, I added the benefit of heat toleration to the cycling goal. It worked because I believed it would.
I have spent my entire life fighting and winning against diseases. Each battle was different but the outcomes were the same. Why I am able to come up with reasons and believe for healing is beyond me. However, I have seen others be able to believe for financial achievements, be successful, and die of poor health. The great inventors were able to believe in something that had never been done before and find a way to accomplish it. What the mind believes, it can achieve. To me, abundance is Health, Wealth, and Happines. Money can’t buy happiness but it does give you one less reason to be unhappy. Good Health won’t make you happy but poor health will definitely bring you down. I know all too well about poor health.
So 100,000 miles later of riding my bicycle, I am as healthy as a man can be. As a dose of my own medicine, I realize that I have to start desiring the completion of me which is to be Healthy, Wealthy, and Happy. My next step is to define what the goal for wealth is and also to describe my happiness. Once the goals are set and a plan is made, all I have to do is Believe.
LIfe is Good
Bubba.